Everything about the show was completely fabulous! I haven’t had such a good time for ages

Of course I loved the outrageous costumes, the fantastic footwear and the marvellous men, but for me, the star of the show was the bus. When the three main characters paint the bus, it becomes pink by virtue of a huge matrix of pink LEDs (Little Electric Doobreys) lighting up as the brushes pass over the surface. And this is just one of the amazing things which happen to the bus

The show follows the story of the film fairly closely, which is quite an impressive feat given that the film is essentially a road-movie.

If you get the chance, go and see this show. It’s fun, the outfits are incredible, and the songs are predominantly well-known disco classics. Chaps, get in touch with your feminine side and strut your funky stuff – and if you forget your feather boa you can get one in the foyer!

I haven’t just topped up my Fabulousness Quotient for the year, I’ve got enough in stock for the next ten years

It looks very kewl. Every time I read the phrase ‘Citroen C-Crosser’ the voice in my head pronounces it as ‘Citroen Cross Dresser’. Which is unfortunate

Is it just me?

This particular version was written by the always excellent Stephen Fry, and featured Sandi Toksvig as the narrator (amongst other roles).

The Ugly Sisters were called Dolce and Gabbana, the result of which is I can’t see a D&G advert without collapsing into uncontrollable laughter now.

It was Sandi who pointed out that the whole point of Tesco is to keep the riff-raff out of Waitrose

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Jan!

1. In the Great Seal of the United States the eagle grasps 13 arrows and jan.
2. Dolphins sleep at night just below the surface of jan, and frequently rise to the surface for air!
3. People used to believe that dressing their male children as jan would protect them from evil spirits.
4. Reindeer like to eat jan.
5. If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and jan would be as small as a pea.
6. By tradition, a girl standing under jan cannot refuse to be kissed by anyone who claims the privilege!
7. Jan can be very poisonous if injected intravenously!
8. South Australia was the first place to allow jan to stand for parliament.
9. Without its lining of jan, your stomach would digest itself.
10. Jan is the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives!

The Venice Festival is on right now, and allegedly it can take up to 90 minutes to get from here (to all intents and purposes at the end of the causeway leading to Venice) to there.

So, I’ll probably be spending my time practising my Geordie Italian. If you can do a Geordie accent, it works wonderfully with Italian. If you can’t do a Geordie accent, try watching When the Boat Comes In.

It’s like traditional Uno, if you know that. If you don’t it’s a card game where each player starts with 7 cards and takes it in turn to put down a card. Cards must match either colour or value. If you are unable to lay a card, you have to press the magic Uno button on the machine. If you’re lucky, it will just make a ‘bong’ noise, but if you’re not, it will spit a random number of cards at you.

I was playing the game with friends who hadn’t seen it before, and I explained everything to them. However, they still collapsed with laughter the first time some cards emerged from the machine – it’s very difficult to get across just how amusing it actually is.

Literally, hours of fun for all the family. Just make sure you have spare batteries

“A restaurant with a smoking section is like a swimming pool with a peeing section.”