The Bouncing Czechs
This is an unofficial tribute page to the Bouncing Czechs
The Bouncing CzechsThis is an unofficial tribute page to the Bouncing Czechs |
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This page contains a selection of random quotes and lyrics from the Bouncing Czechs, mostly from a gig they did at The Kings Head in 1983 (if my memory serves me).
The gig started with an off-stage announcement:
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard the S.S. Piranha and this, the first night of your Carribean Cruise. A big round of applause please for your Entertainment Managers for this entire cruise, all the way from Cabin 57, The Bouncing Czechs
The entire gig is presented as if the audience is on a cruise around the Carribean (and places further afield). Following are some of my favourite snippets. If you can contribute to this page, please email me (bouncing at dr-jan dot com) with details.
"[Speaking] Folks, we have to run through the emergency drill now, it's a mere formality, as you know, this ship is in ship-shape shape. On the count of 3 I want you all to look underneath your seats. Everybody checking underneath their seats. Are you ready? 3! Down, everybody down! My goodness, it's like an Islamic Revivalist meeting here!... Tell me, what do you see under your seats? [Nothing!] Nothing - that's right ladies and gentlemen, absolutely nothing. If, at any time during the cruise, you check and find water, you'll know we're sinking. At which point you should put into action the following emergency plan... [Singing] This ship was built to ride through a hurricane (this old tub?), A thousand times around the world and back again, Yes we know there's a hole in the prow and it's wet in the bow and the ship leans to the right, But you're safe with the crew, we all look after you, through the day and night. But if by chance the liner should start to sink (no chance, really), Please don't go wild it's not as bad as you might think, Because we've got an emergency plan, you're all safe to a man, if you follow the Golden Rule, Here's what you do, all we ask of you is to stay quiet and cool. (Here's what you do) Just run for the starboard beam, jump over the side and scream! Things may look black, oh they may look grim, The choice is simple, sink or swim, The folks back home will welcome you, you bet, You'll be tanned and washed up and wet! The lifeboats disappeared back in '42. We chopped them up for wood for the poop-deck bar-be-cue, Rubber rings are a thing of the past, and the lifejackets fast disappeared out to sea, If the ship has a bump, it's much better to jump, we're all sure you'll agree... Just run for the starboard beam, jump over the side and scream! Things may look black, oh they may look grim, The choice is simple, sink or swim, The folks back home will wonder where you've been, You'll be tanned and washed up and clean. (Nothing the matter with that). Don't be afraid of the water, it's safer than crossing the street. If a shark bites your toes, just slap him on the nose, And a jelly fish'll love you if you tickle his feet... (Speaking of jelly fish, did I tell you what happened to the Irish jelly fish? No, what did happen to the Irish jelly fish? It set!) The crew make sure you have an exciting day, If you're afraid to jump, they will help you on your way, With a push and a shove you will be floating right out to sea with the rest of the crowd, Our emergency drill is a hell of a thrill, so let's sing it aloud... Just run for the starboard beam, jump over the edge and scream! Things may look black, they may look grim, The choice is simple, sink or swim, The folks back home will wonder what they've found, You'll be tanned and washed up and drowned!
Last modified November 06 2008 02:13:13.